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Thread: WBT 09/20/2016: How to know if you're in a Noob`s alliance

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    Cool WBT 09/20/2016: How to know if you're in a Noob`s alliance

    Weekly Bane Topic September 20th, 2016
    How to know if you're in a Noob`s alliance



    My network has been kind enough to pass me messages floating around from various alliances. It's clear there's a complete lack of both experience and common sense in many of the "top" alliances and so I thought I'd share some ways for our newest members to spot an inexperienced player.

    There's talk of a stronghold.
    Why? Because rather than making a capital choice based upon resources, such as getting you a 125% or better 15C, they're going to park you on a subpar 9c so you're close enough to push them resources. Don't let the defense argument fool you. Cats traveling in from another quad can take a day or more to arrive. But that leads us to...

    Pushing Resources
    There is rarely or ever any reason to push resources to leadership. If you sacrifice your resources to build their account and they delete what are you left with? Nothing and this happens. For a good account hammer builds are limited by training time and not resources. If people are asking you for resources it means they're incapable of building a good account on their own.

    Cat Waves
    Are your leaders picking a fight and trying to beat up an account? If they're doing it with raids and not with cats theirs a noob. Raids do no damage. Catapults do. When they launch cats against an active player are those catapults landing an hour apart? If so they're a noob. Real players land their waves on the same second to reduce the chances that defense catch them.

    Most players are larger than leadership
    We can't always judge an account by its population but if leadership has less population or villages than half the alliance there's a good chance theyre noobs.

    Troops and Pop
    If your alliance focuses on population but not on troops or resources they're noobs.

    Guidance and Mentoring
    If leadership is not coaching members on optimal capital builds, optimal hammer builds or resource efficiency then... you guessed it... probably noobs. The race for artifacts began weeks ago and their slacking.

    The #1 way to tell if you're playing with Noobs.
    The account name is Hercules or Bigdog and they're selling Tupperware in game.

    What other noobish things have we witness this round?

  2. #2
    Senator Cisalpine's Avatar
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    Excellent! You were just waiting for someone to beg!

    Noob example: Empty threats. "I'm gonna send my huge Army and take you down. Just wait. Ask so-n-so, they'll tell you how I am to be feared!!"
    Proof is in the pudding. If you're truly fearful, no one will have to validate your claims. You will already be feared. And not by other noobs.

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    You know you're in a noob alliance when your leaders send out confed requests without ever speaking to the leaders of another alliance (*cough* Easy SE *cough*)
    My first hammer: s8r1 - mhisti
    Not my first hammer: s1r4 - Loved1

    s1r7 - Ifrit 3,111,384 offense points

    [6:49:56 PM] Bugzy: Let's report Ifrit for genocide

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    Senator Cisalpine's Avatar
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    Awww. You have that nasty cold too?? Be careful...mine went to pneumonia!

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    Consul The Burninator's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Cisalpine View Post
    Awww. You have that nasty cold too?? Be careful...mine went to pneumonia!
    ... Hillary?

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    Senator Cisalpine's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by The Burninator View Post
    ... Hillary?
    Seriously...went from walking pneumonia to full on, in the hospital pneumonia. 2 weeks, I still have the cough. Cracked a rib too.

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    Consul The Burninator's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Cisalpine View Post
    Seriously...went from walking pneumonia to full on, in the hospital pneumonia. 2 weeks, I still have the cough. Cracked a rib too.
    Oh my. That's no fun at all. You make sure you get better, Cis.

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    Artisan Eric Rasputin's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Old MacDonald View Post
    You know you're in a noob alliance when your leaders send out confed requests without ever speaking to the leaders of another alliance (*cough* Easy SE *cough*)
    You know you're in a noob alliance when the leaders sent our confed requests without even speaking to the members and hearing if they want it or not.
    Quote Originally Posted by Ms. Evil View Post
    Quote Originally Posted by The Blazin1 View Post
    Aw, you shouldn't have.
    Don't you have a hole to die in?

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    Merchant Mozart's Avatar
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    You know you're in a farm alliance when a leader in your alliance calls himself 'Bigdog'.
    S1-R7: Kizmet ~ Care - #1 Attacker (Terse is a b***h)
    S2-R6: Symphony ~ FEAR - WW 75 to 0 http://travian-reports.net/us/report/2351573f0f7
    S1: Al Bundy

    Quote Originally Posted by Enyalois View Post
    You're actually in an alliance, that right there means I know what huggling is

  10. #10

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    You know you're in a noob alliance when the top accounts just bailed ship and you don't have a single account left in the top 50. *cough*Easy*cough*

  11. #11

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    Damn, you guys sure have a lot of experience being in noob alliances.
    Quote Originally Posted by mbstokem View Post
    o ya. i hope he goes back to it. i liked my name being in some1's sig

  12. #12

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    Quote Originally Posted by mbstokem View Post
    Damn, you guys sure have a lot of experience being in noob alliances.
    Bahahahahahhahaa...!!! Epic..
    s1 : Storeythor http://travian-reports.net/us/report/2674061c50d
    Quote Originally Posted by Scarecrow View Post
    Gotta be talented to look after 2 WW's simultaneously. Or crazy... Crazy seems more like it.
    Quote Originally Posted by Gressor2 View Post
    The more I read of OdinLoki's posts, the more I want to play alongside him. Not for the results, as frequently good as they are, but for the sheer fun he seems to have at it. Would + rep if I could, man. Always enjoy reading your stuff... and mostly cringe at the results contained in 'em.
    Quote Originally Posted by Chas00 View Post
    Storeythor,most offensive/defensive account holder on the server.
    Quote Originally Posted by bugzy View Post
    He's a nut and the more the odds are stacked against him, the better he seems to come out of it.

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    Quote Originally Posted by mbstokem View Post
    Damn, you guys sure have a lot of experience being in noob alliances.
    Damn right I do. I mean, I've been playing with you for years now.
    My first hammer: s8r1 - mhisti
    Not my first hammer: s1r4 - Loved1

    s1r7 - Ifrit 3,111,384 offense points

    [6:49:56 PM] Bugzy: Let's report Ifrit for genocide

  14. #14

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    Quote Originally Posted by Old MacDonald View Post
    Damn right I do. I mean, I've been playing with you for years now.
    I believe that's a failure on your leadership for letting me in.
    Quote Originally Posted by mbstokem View Post
    o ya. i hope he goes back to it. i liked my name being in some1's sig

  15. #15
    Merchant Mozart's Avatar
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    You know you're in a noob alliance when you're on the same team as Kimmi.. oh wait
    S1-R7: Kizmet ~ Care - #1 Attacker (Terse is a b***h)
    S2-R6: Symphony ~ FEAR - WW 75 to 0 http://travian-reports.net/us/report/2351573f0f7
    S1: Al Bundy

    Quote Originally Posted by Enyalois View Post
    You're actually in an alliance, that right there means I know what huggling is

  16. #16
    Consul Luisss's Avatar
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    You know you're in a noob alliance when the leader is the only person NOT in the skype chatroom... .

    (PS: Great OP, Lord Bane!)

  17. #17

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    Excellent content!
    US1 - R8: Seba18 - TMH
    US1 - R9: Easy Faked Oven - RIP (http://travian-reports.net/us/report/284151238bd/http://travian-reports.net/us/report/293427537bc)
    US19 - R1: Seba18 (win)

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    You know you're in a noob alliance when players profiles use ascii art to show how big their sword is.

  19. #19
    Artisan Eric Rasputin's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Lord Bane View Post
    You know you're in a noob alliance when players profiles use ascii art to show how big their sword is.
    Back in T3 and 3.6 , ascii swords was quite famous... Back then only the strong used to have it on their profile ... Now only the weak have it.
    Quote Originally Posted by Ms. Evil View Post
    Quote Originally Posted by The Blazin1 View Post
    Aw, you shouldn't have.
    Don't you have a hole to die in?

  20. #20

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    You might be a noob alliance if half your members don't meet the entry requirements posted on your alliance wall.

  21. #21

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    You might be a n00b alliance if you have entry requirements posted on your alliance profile.

  22. #22

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    Quote Originally Posted by bugzy View Post
    You might be a n00b alliance if you have entry requirements posted on your alliance profile.
    YES!!!

    You might be a noob if you have to post "Must be & stay active" on the alliance profile.

  23. #23
    Artisan Pile of Pandas's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Luisss View Post
    You know you're in a noob alliance when the leader is the only person NOT in the skype chatroom... .

    Hahahaha! Not that we know anyone like that...
    US1:R3 Alliteration -oNE R10 Twist of Fate -GONE
    US3: R10 Buccaneers - TBN (dual)
    US4: R2 Eris ABT-PANTLESS R3 Fluffy MORON R4 ThePanda MORON R8 Leep
    US5: R2 Susugam - ROBR R3 Twist of Fate - NEWD

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    Quote Originally Posted by Pile of Pandas View Post
    Hahahaha! Not that we know anyone like that...
    Am I mistaken in believing that we dualed at some point?
    My first hammer: s8r1 - mhisti
    Not my first hammer: s1r4 - Loved1

    s1r7 - Ifrit 3,111,384 offense points

    [6:49:56 PM] Bugzy: Let's report Ifrit for genocide

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    Consul Luisss's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Pile of Pandas View Post
    Hahahaha! Not that we know anyone like that...
    Not anymore we don't .

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    Artisan Pile of Pandas's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Old MacDonald View Post
    Am I mistaken in believing that we dualed at some point?
    I don't think we ever dualed... same alliance maybe? I remember you, I just don't remember exactly where.
    US1:R3 Alliteration -oNE R10 Twist of Fate -GONE
    US3: R10 Buccaneers - TBN (dual)
    US4: R2 Eris ABT-PANTLESS R3 Fluffy MORON R4 ThePanda MORON R8 Leep
    US5: R2 Susugam - ROBR R3 Twist of Fate - NEWD

  27. #27
    Senator Cisalpine's Avatar
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    You know you're in a noob alliance when you keep making the same stupid mistakes and no one has pointed it out to you, because they're just as stupid.

    Oh, and you know your alliance is filled with noobs when they think they can kill your ACCOUNT with scouts! Lord have mercy Percy, I needed that laugh.
    Last edited by Cisalpine; 09-24-2016 at 12:47 PM.

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    Morning Cis,

    I scouted him first.

    Have a great day,
    Bugzy

  29. #29
    Senator Cisalpine's Avatar
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    Ahhhhh....but did you expect to kill his ACCOUNT with scouts? LOL

  30. #30

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    You're definitely in a n00b alliance if you are saying "Hi" to us in your MMs because we are reading them before your own members do.

  31. #31
    Senator Cisalpine's Avatar
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    R..O..T..F..L..M..A..O. No, that would just be a FAIL alliance. Such a TRAvesty.

  32. #32

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    Quote Originally Posted by bugzy View Post
    You're definitely in a n00b alliance if you are saying "Hi" to us in your MMs because we are reading them before your own members do.
    Hahahaha... Especially when they say "Hi Greg" lol I love getting fanmail in other teams' mm's..
    s1 : Storeythor http://travian-reports.net/us/report/2674061c50d
    Quote Originally Posted by Scarecrow View Post
    Gotta be talented to look after 2 WW's simultaneously. Or crazy... Crazy seems more like it.
    Quote Originally Posted by Gressor2 View Post
    The more I read of OdinLoki's posts, the more I want to play alongside him. Not for the results, as frequently good as they are, but for the sheer fun he seems to have at it. Would + rep if I could, man. Always enjoy reading your stuff... and mostly cringe at the results contained in 'em.
    Quote Originally Posted by Chas00 View Post
    Storeythor,most offensive/defensive account holder on the server.
    Quote Originally Posted by bugzy View Post
    He's a nut and the more the odds are stacked against him, the better he seems to come out of it.

  33. #33
    Consul The Burninator's Avatar
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    I, for one, am glad that the other team is showing us their M&M's. That way we don't have to bother with going to the store to get our own . It's really very sweet.

  34. #34

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    Quote Originally Posted by odinloki View Post
    Hahahaha... Especially when they say "Hi Greg" lol I love getting fanmail in other teams' mm's..
    Now that is funny.

    You might be a noob alliance when leadership dropped out today because they are getting farmed.

  35. #35

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    Hummm I know I may be out of the loop here but I think you guys are mistaking your alliance forums for the Travian forums?

    IF everyone on your thread is in your alliance then you're a noob..........

    Let me help you find your way around.

    CLICK HERE NOOBS

    I am glad I could help!

  36. #36

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    Awe it's so sweet to see such vindictiveness and a never ending vendetta... Hey!!! I love tupperware makes a great gift for the wife

    Quote Originally Posted by King James View Post
    Awe it's so sweet to see such vindictiveness and a never ending vendetta... Hey!!! I love tupperware makes a great gift for the wife
    Hummm I know I may be out of the loop here but I think you guys are mistaking your alliance forums for the Travian forums?

    IF everyone on your thread is in your alliance then you're a noob..........

    Let me help you find your way around.

    CLICK HERE NOOBS

    I am glad I could help!


    ^^^
    Gotta love this guy
    Last edited by Mod Cré Spéir; 09-28-2016 at 09:40 PM. Reason: double posting

  37. #37
    Artisan Eric Rasputin's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by otto_compgeek View Post
    Hummm I know I may be out of the loop here but I think you guys are mistaking your alliance forums for the Travian forums?

    IF everyone on your thread is in your alliance then you're a noob..........

    Let me help you find your way around.

    CLICK HERE NOOBS

    I am glad I could help!
    The child doesn't even know what we're talking about ... The irony (Noob)
    Quote Originally Posted by Ms. Evil View Post
    Quote Originally Posted by The Blazin1 View Post
    Aw, you shouldn't have.
    Don't you have a hole to die in?

  38. #38
    Consul Luisss's Avatar
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    Not all of us are in the SW.

    Even if we wish we were

  39. #39

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    Quote Originally Posted by Eric Rasputin View Post
    The child doesn't even know what we're talking about ... The irony (Noob)
    Child..... Played this game longer then you have had hair on your baby maker. Get real bro, get on my level or step off.

    JOIN OR DIE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    Sorry inside joke for all the grown ups in the thread.

    lol

    -otto

    #blm

    0 Friends

    Eric Rasputin has not made any friends yet

    I can't figure out why?
    Last edited by Mod Cré Spéir; 09-28-2016 at 09:42 PM. Reason: double posting

  40. #40
    Artisan Eric Rasputin's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by otto_compgeek View Post
    0 Friends

    Eric Rasputin has not made any friends yet

    I can't figure out why?
    Probably because I am new here in the forums ... You might be older than me ... But it doesn't change a thing . I won't put in effort to retort for an senile smack talker
    Quote Originally Posted by Ms. Evil View Post
    Quote Originally Posted by The Blazin1 View Post
    Aw, you shouldn't have.
    Don't you have a hole to die in?

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