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Thread: The Murder Game

  1. #1
    Philosopher Jacana's Avatar
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    Default The Murder Game

    This game is an attempt to bring back what the forums have been missing: violence. Lots of violence, we've gone soft over time. The forums nowadays are a shadow of what they used to be.

    The rules to this game are simple, kill the person before you in a creative way (and preferably, make it look like an accident ).

    Example:
    Person A: I'm the first post, yay!
    Person B: I stab you in your jugular with a rusty spork!
    Person A: I strangle you with the cord of your mouse!

    Have a fun time murdering eachother. Remember, this is just for funsies, so try not to take anything personally.

    Now come on first replyer, give me your best shot!

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    I send you poisoned snail mail every week. You start to wonder why you are not dying or dead yet, since you have begun a murder thread on some nerdy forum, but then your nails begin to crack and turn yellow and your hair starts falling out and the whites of your eyes turn bloodshot. And by the time you begin to suspect that the mysterious letters from "Your Secret Admirer" deliver more than just flattery, it is already too late...

    Creative enough?
    "I'm not lost for I know where I am. But however, where I am may be lost."

  3. #3
    Philosopher Principal Brian Lewis's Avatar
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    Creep, I've already told you how I plan to murder you, TBS just has to write the book. Also, this game is teh sux

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    Quote Originally Posted by Gotmilk View Post
    Creep, I've already told you how I plan to murder you, TBS just has to write the book. Also, this game is teh sux
    Wow, loser, you don't even remember your own convoluted plan.
    Death by unicorns for you. It is only what you deserve.
    "I'm not lost for I know where I am. But however, where I am may be lost."

  5. #5
    Philosopher dooglash sontoosh's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Creep-er View Post
    Wow, loser, you don't even remember your own convoluted plan.
    Death by unicorns for you. It is only what you deserve.
    I kill you with my ****. The mightiest rooster around .


  6. #6

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    I'm juggling napalms and i drop one right by your feet.
    Retired as of 10/13/14 after 7 and a half years of playing. Good luck to those who continue to play.
    us2; Round 6 - Adjudicator (Getter) (BACON) (Lost)
    us3; Round 2 - stevo (Getter) (QoD) (Lost)
    us3; Round 3 - stemem (Getter) (SI) (Won)
    us3; Round 4 - BliZZarD (Getter) (Delicious) (lost)
    us3; Round 5 - Ice Lillies (Getter) (DoS) (Semper DoS)
    us3; Round 7 - Revolt (Getter) (SI) (Won)
    us8; Round 1 - Heavenly Wrath (Getter) (TNT) (won)
    com3; Round ? - General Mills (Getter) (ReD DoS/TWD) (Lost)

  7. #7
    Philosopher Tyman26511's Avatar
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    I beat you over the head with millions of pebbles.
    Quote Originally Posted by Gotmilk View Post
    This is like Evony except without all the fail.
    You may win every battle, yet still lose the war.

  8. #8
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    I freeze poison in ice cubes and put them in both of our drinks. I down my drink but keep you talking so that the ice cubes have a chance to melt, thus spreading the poison throughout your drink as you linger. When the cops come, they find traces of poison in both of our systems, but only your dose is deadly. Sure, I get sick, but it's a small price to pay for getting away with murder.

  9. #9
    Philosopher Tyman26511's Avatar
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    The FBI realizes what you have done. Teey come in, and gun you down.
    Quote Originally Posted by Gotmilk View Post
    This is like Evony except without all the fail.
    You may win every battle, yet still lose the war.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Tyman26511 View Post
    The FBI realizes what you have done. Teey come in, and gun you down.

    I paid off whoever "Teey" is (I'm assuming a Hawaiian hitman) and he shot me with blanks. I bide my time, waiting outside your window until you go to sleep, safely in your teddy bear's arms. I slide the window open and **** in your milk which is sitting on your night table. I do this each night, leaving a note from your mom, reading, "Honey, hope you like the chocolate milk." After a month, you die of grossness.

  11. #11
    Philosopher Tyman26511's Avatar
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    Wrong. Teey was a Mexican. I couldn't afford the Hawaiian.
    I dunno who you killed, I ripped my teddy to shreds using air soft guns years ago.
    A serial killer uses the same tactic on you, but it is diarrhea. You die within a week.
    Quote Originally Posted by Gotmilk View Post
    This is like Evony except without all the fail.
    You may win every battle, yet still lose the war.

  12. #12
    Philosopher Principal Brian Lewis's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Tyman26511 View Post
    Wrong. Teey was a Mexican. I couldn't afford the Hawaiian.
    I dunno who you killed, I ripped my teddy to shreds using air soft guns years ago.
    A serial killer uses the same tactic on you, but it is diarrhea. You die within a week.

    I stabertate you with an oyster.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Gotmilk View Post
    I stabertate you with an oyster.
    You're the milk that all the "chocolate" has been deposited into.

    Another death by grossness.

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    Quick! Don't look at your computer screen! Why? Because the vengeful ghost of some Internet an-hero has possessed my mind and is now controlling my fingers as I type, and if you have spent more than one second reading this, he will possess you as well--BAM! You're dead.

    (Oh, but of course, you can revive yourself by forwarding this chain mail to two hundred of your friends.)
    "I'm not lost for I know where I am. But however, where I am may be lost."

  15. #15
    Merchant Ishamael's Avatar
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    Chain mails don't work anyways. I send it back to you with a virus. The virus crashes your computer. You nerd rage for a bit then chuck your computer out the window and then stomp outside to receive a flare in the chest from a hired assassin.

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    You're Canadian.

    You choke on your own spit. Stupidly.

  17. #17
    Philosopher Tyman26511's Avatar
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    You're American. You axe me a question. So I kill you with an axe.
    Quote Originally Posted by Gotmilk View Post
    This is like Evony except without all the fail.
    You may win every battle, yet still lose the war.

  18. #18
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    You play Minecraft so I write a code with java and throw into your server infecting everyone playing on that server with a virus. The virus attack your internet connection and disables it. You call the tech in to see what is wrong and he turns out to be my friends hired bounty hunter. He kills you with the hammer he brought, leaves it behind and puts his gloves in his pockets.
    Last edited by Ishamael; 07-11-2011 at 05:49 AM. Reason: Tyman posted. :(

  19. #19
    Philosopher Tyman26511's Avatar
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    My (now ex) wife beats you over the head for killing her cousin. She hits you 8 times though, killing you.

    EDIT: Damn you, now I have to think of something else.

    EDIT2: You were not on my server whitelist, so you never managed to connect. You get put on my servers IP ban list and kill yourself in sadness.

    ((Question: Do you play Minecraft?))
    Last edited by Tyman26511; 07-11-2011 at 05:53 AM.
    Quote Originally Posted by Gotmilk View Post
    This is like Evony except without all the fail.
    You may win every battle, yet still lose the war.

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    You, your ex-wife and your minecraft all sucked to death.

  21. #21
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    Quote Originally Posted by Tyman26511 View Post
    My (now ex) wife beats you over the head for killing her cousin. She hits you 8 times though, killing you.

    EDIT: Damn you, now I have to think of something else.

    EDIT2: You were not on my server whitelist, so you never managed to connect. You get put on my servers IP ban list and kill yourself in sadness.

    ((Question: Do you play Minecraft?))
    ((No I don't. But I know what it is. It is like Roblox.))
    Quote Originally Posted by Baron D'Holbach View Post
    You, your ex-wife and your minecraft all sucked to death.
    You wake up with a huge craving food not knowing that I slipped ex-lax into your pepper. I also made sure that toilet went mysteriously missing and cut off your water supply. You run out screaming at the neighbors that you want to use their bathroom and step on an anti personnel mine.

  22. #22
    Philosopher Tyman26511's Avatar
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    ((Minecraft is better. You should get it. Roblox sucks. Minecraft is better. You should get it. Roblox sucks. Is my subliminal messaging working?))

    You were sill burying the anti personnel mine when it went off, killing you as well.
    Quote Originally Posted by Gotmilk View Post
    This is like Evony except without all the fail.
    You may win every battle, yet still lose the war.

  23. #23
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    Quote Originally Posted by Tyman26511 View Post
    ((Minecraft is better. You should get it. Roblox sucks. Minecraft is better. You should get it. Roblox sucks. Is my subliminal messaging working?))

    You were sill burying the anti personnel mine when it went off, killing you as well.
    ((I wasn't burying it, my hired man was. ))
    ((Also, your "subliminal message" did not work.))

    On the way back from the raid against Baron D'Holbach, my hired hitman decided to take a detour to your house. He broke in while your cousin/wife was still beating you over the head with a frying pan and shot you both with his silenced pistol. He then ran away.

  24. #24
    Philosopher Tyman26511's Avatar
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    I was wearing a bulletproof vest, so hah!

    ((Buy Minecraft.Buy Minecraft.Buy Minecraft.Buy Minecraft.Buy Minecraft.Buy Minecraft.Buy Minecraft.Buy Minecraft.Buy Minecraft.Buy Minecraft.Buy Minecraft.Buy Minecraft))
    I send a sniper to kill you using explosive rounds that blow up your house as well. His headshot kills you instantly
    Quote Originally Posted by Gotmilk View Post
    This is like Evony except without all the fail.
    You may win every battle, yet still lose the war.

  25. #25
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    Who said he shot you in the chest? He shot you in the head.
    I had previously paid your sniper more money then you offered him for my head than for your head and he slit your throat while telling you;"I go with the highest bidder."

  26. #26
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    Quote Originally Posted by Ishamael View Post
    Who said he shot you in the chest? He shot you in the head.
    I had previously paid your sniper more money then you offered him for my head than for your head and he slit your throat while telling you;"I go with the highest bidder."
    I murder you with fish.

  27. #27
    Philosopher Tyman26511's Avatar
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    I make fish sticks then jam them down your throat.
    Quote Originally Posted by Gotmilk View Post
    This is like Evony except without all the fail.
    You may win every battle, yet still lose the war.

  28. #28
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    I "accidentally" let go the wire that is holding up a piano that was going to the second floor. It slips out of the other workers hands. You are under it. Enough said.

  29. #29
    Philosopher Tyman26511's Avatar
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    I see the huge shadow above my head and, after crapping my pants, move out of the way.
    I then use and AT4-HS (Straight launch of the rocket) to blow you to pieces while you are on the second floor.
    Quote Originally Posted by Gotmilk View Post
    This is like Evony except without all the fail.
    You may win every battle, yet still lose the war.

  30. #30
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    Quote Originally Posted by Tyman26511 View Post
    I see the huge shadow above my head and, after crapping my pants, move out of the way.
    I then use and AT4-HS (Straight launch of the rocket) to blow you to pieces while you are on the second floor.
    who said I was on the second floor? I pick up a louisville slugger off of the sidewalk and knock you out with it. You wake up in the hospital with a fractured skull. The doctor tells you that you have a brain tumor. They remove it but it puts you into a coma. You woke up from your coma 4 months later to find out that I now had a job cooking food and preparing drinks at the hospital after you drank the water laced with lmodium. You die of extreme constipation.

  31. #31
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    Death by mediocrity.
    "I'm not lost for I know where I am. But however, where I am may be lost."

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    Quote Originally Posted by Creep-er View Post
    Death by mediocrity.
    Killed by tiger mom for getting a B.

  33. #33
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    CHAINSAW JUGGLING GO!
    *Throws chainsaws at above poster*
    Oh wait I don't know how to juggle.... Sorry Baron.
    If there is a God, He must really love stupid people. Look how many He made.

  34. #34
    Philosopher Jacana's Avatar
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    I would like to bring to your attention that this thread was part of a recent Survivor challenge:
    Quote Originally Posted by Shenaynay View Post
    Goal: Create a thread in the Dump. Once created, this thread cannot be posted in by anyone on your team.

    Whichever team gets more people to post in their thread wins. However, there are some interesting rules.

    Rule #1: Even though you cannot post in your thread, you may post in the opposing team's thread. You will be notified which thread is the opposing team's thread as soon as they post it.

    Rule #2: You may post in the opposing team's thread. They will not earn any points for you posting in it. Each time that someone quotes you on the thread, the opposing team loses one point.

    Rule #3: Each post made in your thread counts as two points.

    Rule #4: You may not tell anyone about this challenge. If you do and I find out, you are disqualified. Please be honest. It makes my life easier and makes the game fun and fair.

    Rule #5: You cannot make a thread about "posting the most" or a thread referring to Survivor. Your post should be creative and be about something which would attract people's attention in order to get you the posts you want. Think about it before posting it. Discuss it as a group.

    Rule #6: If you have already been eliminated you cannot post in either thread. I am saying this because some people have been eliminated from Survivor but have access to the subforums. If you do post, I will be mad and on top of that any responses to your post, and the post you made as well, will not count for any points.

    Rule #7: You can make your thread whenever you want. The deadline for when I will count points is July 13th at 8PM EST. This is a lot of time. Use it.

    Good luck!
    And we won, thanks to your guys's mild interest in this game. We beat the picture chain game!


    And also:

    Quote Originally Posted by Erknen View Post
    CHAINSAW JUGGLING GO!
    *Throws chainsaws at above poster*
    Oh wait I don't know how to juggle.... Sorry Baron.
    Unfortunately, since you don't know how to juggle, after hitting Baron all three chainsaws come back at you, slicing you into four hunks of Erknen.

  35. #35
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    I ripped your computer out of the wall and threw it at you hard. It left a nice dent on your forehead while killing you instantly.

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