View Poll Results: Would you let your son wear a dress?

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43. You may not vote on this poll
  • Sure, why not?

    20 46.51%
  • Ok, but just to a certain age...

    1 2.33%
  • Yes, but only in private.

    6 13.95%
  • Yes, but only for special occasions where it can be excused.

    0 0%
  • Maybe just once.

    4 9.30%
  • Hell no.

    12 27.91%
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Thread: Would you let your son wear a dress?

  1. #121
    Merchant mitachuk's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by aquias View Post
    ...There are societal consequences for every choice you or your child makes. If he doesn't have the latest clothing styles there's a societal consequence. If he wears glasses there's a societal consequence. Is this more extreme? Yeah it is. But don't act like you can actually protect your child from societal consequences. Even being the uber cool kid means he'll get blowback from the goth/punk crowd.
    This... and don't underestimate a child's ability to deal with the consequences society will throw at him. Kids aren't as helpless than you think. I have seen some very young kids (about 4-5) be surprisingly brave and mature in some situations. The fact is, there is no way to really know how your child will react to being bullied.

    And I still can't get over the fact you are all attributing your decision to not let the little boy wear a dress to the way society will treat him. If you want that to change, someone somewhere will need to take the first step.
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  2. #122
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    Another part people seem to be forgetting is allowing your kids to learn from their own mistakes..... all this mollycoddling worries me.

  3. #123

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    Quote Originally Posted by Kurtz View Post
    Another part people seem to be forgetting is allowing your kids to learn from their own mistakes..... all this mollycoddling worries me.
    This is true, but that is why you tell them no a few times and then let them learn the consequences themselves. Granted, I don't really have much experience in the field of child rearing since I am not a parent, nor will I be for probably 10 or so years, but I do think it is the parents duty to protect their children. How much protection should be given though is another matter and will most likely differ based on the various situations.
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  4. #124

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    Quote Originally Posted by mitachuk View Post
    This... and don't underestimate a child's ability to deal with the consequences society will throw at him.
    I know minors aren't able to deal with consequences.

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  5. #125

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    Quote Originally Posted by StealthSigma View Post
    And this has been in the back of my mind throughout the entire debate. But I believe (quite possibly blindly) that if a parent is aware of this aspect of their child they can help them cope with what will come. Will it work in all cases? Sadly, no. Can we say that there is a possibility that some suicides are directly tied back to people hiding who they are? To a degree yes.

    As much as I stand by what I believe I am aware that there isn't a right answer on this one.

  6. #126

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    Going off of recent posts.

    The real expert of how children will treat the boy in school, is the boy. I'm pretty sure he'd be aware by the 2nd grade all of the instances that may get him bullied, and will likely want to avoid getting bullied. School and bullying is perhaps the primary concerns on a child's mind really, so in my opinion when it comes to school affairs they can be quite the handy little "inperts" and for that deserve some trust in making the decision of wearing a dress.

    I view the hypothetical of wearing a dress as having hobbies or interests that are traditionally more effeminate, like knitting perhaps. In which case I wouldn't draw a gender line and support any hobby or interest that the munchkins choose.


    Unless he's a bully himself, in which case the "don't do that and do this" parenting becomes real. In my case it was the kissing ordeal, I was kissing boys and girls on the playground. I guess my parents failed in teaching me not to, and on the playground I was being called a word that I didn't even know the meaning of. I assume because that boy's parents taught him the "right and wrong" of kissing, to protect him of course. It only lasted one day, and I remember it because of its silliness.

  7. #127

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    Quote Originally Posted by Summer View Post
    I view the hypothetical of wearing a dress as having hobbies or interests that are traditionally more effeminate, like knitting perhaps. In which case I wouldn't draw a gender line and support any hobby or interest that the munchkins choose.
    Classic example is theater or cheerleading for men. Until the other guys see all the hot chicks hanging around you because you did it.
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  8. #128

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    Quote Originally Posted by StealthSigma View Post
    Classic example is theater or cheerleading for men. Until the other guys see all the hot chicks hanging around you because you did it.
    Or anything for the sake of doing something of interest and becoming good at it, then eventually finding a niche. Sooner or later you'll be bound to find others with the same interest. I chose to say knitting because sewing and altering clothes was one of my hobbies growing up.

    Be careful though, by doing something be motivated enough to actually get good at it. Of course a muse always helps.

  9. #129
    Merchant mitachuk's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by StealthSigma View Post
    I entirely agree that *some* children can't deal with it. But also keep in mind what Aquias said, if the parents are attentive to their child they can often detect early warning sings and try to help. As a matter of fact, I know a 12 year old boy who committed suicide on Christmas Eve about 4 years ago. That doesn't mean you can generalize to say "no kids on the face of this earth can deal with adversity".

    I've said it before in this thread, I was bullied as a kid, A LOT, the thought of suicide never even came close to crossing my mind. Also, take a look at these statistics, child suicides are MUCH lower than for any other age group. Does this mean I don't think it's a concern, not at all. Does this mean I think saying no kids can deal with bullying is an exaggeration, absolutely.

    US Statistics
    Canadian Staistics

    Note the Canadian statistics are more recent.
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  10. #130
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    Quote Originally Posted by mitachuk View Post
    If you want that to change, someone somewhere will need to take the first step.
    I'm not about to let my young son lead your idealistic social revolution resulting in minimal or non-existant social norms for males and females. If you want to do that, go right ahead, but I would NOT let my son be the one doing that.
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  11. #131
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    Quote Originally Posted by Old MacDonald View Post
    I'm not about to let my young son lead your idealistic social revolution resulting in minimal or non-existant social norms for males and females. If you want to do that, go right ahead, but I would NOT let my son be the one doing that.
    But say at 16 you would right?

  12. #132

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    What is the point in wearing a dress anyway? I'd ask why the hell he felt the need to put on a dress.
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    Idiot.

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    I'd even believe you are being obtuse on purpose.

  13. #133

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    Quote Originally Posted by John Rambo View Post
    What is the point in wearing a dress anyway? I'd ask why the hell he felt the need to put on a dress.
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  14. #134
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    Quote Originally Posted by Kurtz View Post
    But say at 16 you would right?
    I've already said I'm not going to put an age on it. When I feel, or he shows me, that he's cognizant of the potential outcomes of the situation and has the tools to deal with them adequately then yes, I would let him do as he wishes with this specific example. Until that point though, as his parent (and therefore the person charged with his physical and mental well-being), no, I would not.
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  15. #135
    Consul Kurtz's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Old MacDonald View Post
    I've already said I'm not going to put an age on it. When I feel, or he shows me, that he's cognizant of the potential outcomes of the situation and has the tools to deal with them adequately then yes, I would let him do as he wishes with this specific example. Until that point though, as his parent (and therefore the person charged with his physical and mental well-being), no, I would not.
    I'm just trying to get a general idea of what age you think kids are old enough to make those sorts of decisions for themselves. At 16 when they are allowed to have sex? Earlier? Later?

  16. #136
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    Well...

    Quote Originally Posted by Old MacDonald View Post
    Just like the proper age to start having sex, there's no absolute here. It's dependent on the situation.
    And in response you said...

    Quote Originally Posted by Kurtz View Post
    Of course.
    Quote Originally Posted by Kurtz View Post
    I'm just trying to get a general idea of what age you think kids are old enough to make those sorts of decisions for themselves. At 16 when they are allowed to have sex? Earlier? Later?
    So to answer your question, simply read back. I've already stated my view on that. It's my job as the parent to do my best to determine whether he can make these decisions or not. Obviously I won't have absolute control, but I can exert some control simply because I'm the parent.
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  17. #137

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    Quote Originally Posted by StealthSigma View Post
    Fraternity hazing.
    Disguises.
    Really though, there is no point in it. Are you trying to pick up guys who are straight or just trying to make people laugh? It seems to me that looking the part of a woman wouldn't be appealing to someone who is not attracted to women.
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    Idiot.

    It's a game, treat it as such.
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    I swear to God you are the most frustrating and irritating person I've encountered in over 3 years of posting here. Do I sound like the kind of person that would struggle to understand something, do I come across to you as being below averagely dim ?

    I'd even believe you are being obtuse on purpose.

  18. #138
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    Quote Originally Posted by John Rambo View Post
    Really though, there is no point in it. Are you trying to pick up guys who are straight or just trying to make people laugh? It seems to me that looking the part of a woman wouldn't be appealing to someone who is not attracted to women.
    Sounds like somebody got burnt before.

  19. #139

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    Quote Originally Posted by Kurtz View Post
    But say at 16 you would right?
    Someone who is 16 years old is much more likely to be able to make an informed decision than someone between 4 and 10 years old. It all depends on the individual as to when they are capable of the critical thinking needed to make an informed decision, but I seriously doubt that any more than a tiny, tiny minority of children would be at that mental level by 10 years old; I would even go so far as to say that at 12 to 14 they would still be in the minority.

  20. #140
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    Quote Originally Posted by Woden View Post
    Someone who is 16 years old is much more likely to be able to make an informed decision than someone between 4 and 10 years old. It all depends on the individual as to when they are capable of the critical thinking needed to make an informed decision, but I seriously doubt that any more than a tiny, tiny minority of children would be at that mental level by 10 years old; I would even go so far as to say that at 12 to 14 they would still be in the minority.
    I certainly agree about the pre-12 part. 14 perhaps is on the border.

  21. #141

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    Would I let my son wear a dress? Hmmm......That is a tough question. I guess I would tell him to try wearing a tampon for a week first and then take it from there.
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  22. #142

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    Quote Originally Posted by Kurtz View Post
    I'm just trying to get a general idea of what age you think kids are old enough to make those sorts of decisions for themselves. At 16 when they are allowed to have sex? Earlier? Later?
    I'll tell you what they shouldn't be allowed to do... make babies at age 16!

    You need to analyze what the actual problem is to properly address the problem. Is the problem kids are having sex? Sex alone is natural, it's part of being human, it's irresponsible sex that presents problems. Is the problem kids are having irresponsible/unsafe sex and/or putting themselves in bad situations they may not be prepared or capable of dealing with? I'd say these are problems that can be addressed effectively and a good place to start is by treating your kid as an adult when you inform them of life/actions/consequences and when you set the guidelines of their life you treat them as the child in a parent-child relationship. It may be slightly contradictory but that is life. When the kid is 18 they are free to GTFO and live however they want.

    It's not about actual age for limits, that's just technical BS... it's really all about a maturity level and the average age society has agreed the required maturity for certain activities begins.
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  23. #143
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    In reality, this is a very hypothetical question being asked. Children do ask questions to clarify their understanding of their surroundings. Just because a young boy asks about wearing a dress, does not mean he actually would wear the dress. It is normal for a child of either gender to be curious! In spite of some trolls posting on this thread belief otherwise, we ARE hardwired for certain behaviors. Girls like dolls, dresses and pink, Boys like tools, tonka trucks and blue. There are MULTIPLE studies that have shown this to be the case. Environmental experiences have to be severe to change our natural programming, but it does happen. If you have a 16 yr old boy asking to wear a dress, it is not a cultural issue, but about his personal sexual orientation. Long story short: you are not raising children to be good children but good adults and if you have done your job right, one of two things will occur. 1. You will never have a son asking you if its okay for him to wear a dress, 2. if he does, you will know its about his orientation.
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  24. #144
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    Quote Originally Posted by Erbal View Post
    I'll tell you what they shouldn't be allowed to do... make babies at age 16!
    I mostly agree here. More sex education is the only way I can see to prevent that. At least in this day and age. You're never going to turn the clock back to 1950.

    The reason why I don't agree completely is that I know of a fair few women that have had kids at 16 that are wonderful mothers and have great kids. Even though they were all mistakes. None of the fathers have stuck around though so I do agree somewhat, but at the same time, the grandparents have been helpful in each case so it has not really mattered. I will admit that this is probably the minority however, and that the reason I know them is because they were lucky with their parents.

    Quote Originally Posted by Erbal View Post
    It's not about actual age for limits, that's just technical BS... it's really all about a maturity level and the average age society has agreed the required maturity for certain activities begins.
    I agree. It was the level of maturity that is associated with the age that I was trying to ascertain. Nothing more.

  25. #145
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    Quote Originally Posted by Drew777 View Post
    Would I let my son wear a dress? Hmmm......That is a tough question. I guess I would tell him to try wearing a tampon for a week first and then take it from there.
    This is obviously the best answer by far.

  26. #146

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    Quote Originally Posted by Kurtz View Post
    I mostly agree here. More sex education is the only way I can see to prevent that. At least in this day and age. You're never going to turn the clock back to 1950.

    The reason why I don't agree completely is that I know of a fair few women that have had kids at 16 that are wonderful mothers and have great kids. Even though they were all mistakes. None of the fathers have stuck around though so I do agree somewhat, but at the same time, the grandparents have been helpful in each case so it has not really mattered. I will admit that this is probably the minority however, and that the reason I know them is because they were lucky with their parents.

    I agree. It was the level of maturity that is associated with the age that I was trying to ascertain. Nothing more.
    It sounds like you think the ability to raise a child properly (mainly if they have proper support) is the main factor in whether we should give permission to qualified minors to have babies. I couldn't disagree more. There is simply no way for a 16 year old to know themselves well enough make informed decisions that can result in putting their personal life growth on hold for a very significant amount of precious time while they become the mother of another human being.
    Excuse me for disagreeing that your degeneracy is sacred.

  27. #147

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    Quote Originally Posted by Cora View Post
    Honestly, I don't see a problem with guys not acting in the stereotypically "manly" way. It's actually really hot...I never liked jocks and find people whose lives revolve around sports/guns/cars/all those stereotypically "manly" interests a huge turn off.
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  28. #148
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    Quote Originally Posted by Erbal View Post
    It sounds like you think the ability to raise a child properly (mainly if they have proper support) is the main factor in whether we should give permission to qualified minors to have babies. I couldn't disagree more. There is simply no way for a 16 year old to know themselves well enough make informed decisions that can result in putting their personal life growth on hold for a very significant amount of precious time while they become the mother of another human being.
    No. I said that sex education needed to be increased.

  29. #149

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    Quote Originally Posted by Baron D'Holbach View Post
    Sounds like somebody got burnt before.
    Sounds like someone fancies himself as an expert..
    Quote Originally Posted by Zeroz View Post
    Idiot.

    It's a game, treat it as such.
    Quote Originally Posted by horse View Post
    I swear to God you are the most frustrating and irritating person I've encountered in over 3 years of posting here. Do I sound like the kind of person that would struggle to understand something, do I come across to you as being below averagely dim ?

    I'd even believe you are being obtuse on purpose.

  30. #150

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    For everyone who absolutely refuses to let a boy wear a dress, what about if he does it as a protest like this kid?

    Quote Originally Posted by StealthSigma View Post
    Classic example is theater or cheerleading for men. Until the other guys see all the hot chicks hanging around you because you did it.
    lol..I actually saw this indie movie once about a kid who was homeschooled and raised to be completely androgynous. When he finally went to public school, he obviously got bullied by guys but the girls loved him. After the guys giving him a hard time saw how easily he could walk up to one of his girl friends and ask her to make out with him, everyone showed up in school reading poetry and trying to look more "girly" the next day. I thought that was so true...the best way to make a "deviant" behaviour acceptable among men is if it attracts tons of chicks.

    Quote Originally Posted by Erbal View Post
    It sounds like you think the ability to raise a child properly (mainly if they have proper support) is the main factor in whether we should give permission to qualified minors to have babies. I couldn't disagree more. There is simply no way for a 16 year old to know themselves well enough make informed decisions that can result in putting their personal life growth on hold for a very significant amount of precious time while they become the mother of another human being.
    Yeah...I made tons of mistakes when I was 16. Nothing I really regret fortunately, but yeah...everyone's kinda dumb at 16 XD

    Quote Originally Posted by Kurtz View Post
    No. I said that sex education needed to be increased.
    ^ this. And if anyone freaks out about sex education making kids want to have sex, they should attend the sex education I got in Singapore. It was so ******* boring. It was like a biology class. We actually had to label parts of the *****/****** and even had an exam about it. I remember freaking out during the exam because I can't remember the spelling of frenulum. Oh yeah, and there was STDs and STIs. That part was fun to learn about. I was so sure I never wanted to see another ***** or ****** after that class.
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  31. #151

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    Quote Originally Posted by John Rambo View Post
    Really though, there is no point in it. Are you trying to pick up guys who are straight or just trying to make people laugh? It seems to me that looking the part of a woman wouldn't be appealing to someone who is not attracted to women.
    Transgender people's brain is a different gender than their body, so they feel the need to dress, act, or embody their brain's gender. It's not specifically what they're attracted to or who they're trying to attract, as much as their personal identity. They can be straight (born male, brain is female, attracted to men, or vice versa) or homosexual (born male, brain is female, attracted to female), or any other sexuality.
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